“What me worry?”

It is amazing that so many of my customers have built up an attitude similar to the character ALFRED E. NEUMAN from MADD Magazine.

Just last Saturday we had several customers at the counter discussing water rationing. “I can not believe that we are not going to be allowed to water our lawn but once a week. My landscape is going to burn up,” complained one customer who I hardly recognized. Another newbie voiced almost the same feeling: “I am going to loose my entire landscape. I have put so much time and spent so much money in plants that I will not be able to afford to redo my garden.”

At about the same time that these people were bemoaning the water restrictions in came a group of regular customers whom had just finished the Dallas Water Utilities Xeriscape Tour.

These are the ALFRED E. NEUMAN’s of the native plant society, the people who going around Dallas proclaiming: “Water Restrictions! What me worry?”

These are the people that have long been training their lawn to take and beat the heat. And just like the homes that were on the Xeriscape Tour, many of the “Do not Worry People” have landscapes that may rival most arboretums throughout the world.

Spend a day in their shoes, and you will find that for the most part, they live a life of leisure. These weekend landscapers spend time talking about their landscape rather then slaving over it. Sure they may water once a week, or pull weeds from a few areas, but because they were prepared they finished most of their needed chores before they even break a sweat.

Now the no sweat can be a disappointment to the plants in the garden. They sensed the footsteps of their happy gardener approaching them and thought “Oh good, I might get a drink of water this fine morning.” But as the gardener passed by after only inspecting the plant you could almost see the plant shrug it’s shoulders as if saying: “It ain’t hot any way. I can tuff it out a few more days before I need a drink.”

And a few more days may pass before these plants get a drink, because the experienced Texas gardener has learned to water the plants when they need it and not just because it’s Monday, Wednesday or Friday. XERISCAPE or WISE GARDENERS know that the key to low water requirements is airy soils and plenty of mulch. They have mulched their beds with plenty cedar mulch, pine straw or other suitable materials that will help.

How do these “What me Worry” gardeners do it.

Many months ago, or even many years ago when they heard of Native Plants or drought tolerant plants they started to do research. Some became members of Native Plant Societies throughout Texas, such as The Garland Chapter that meets at Rohde’s on the third Sunday of every month (This month they are meeting on the 11th, of June).

Many hit the beds hard deciding that one plant or another may not worthy of the necessary efforts to keep it looking well or even being able to survive as if it were a weed they pull it out of the ground and throw it in their compost pile.

While those customers at the counter bemoaned the impending water restrictions the “ALFRED E. NEUMAN” gardeners went out to buy more plants inspired by the landscapes that they saw during the XERISCAPE TOUR.

Impressed by the nonchalant attitude of these gardeners some of the bemoaner’s followed the native enthusiast out of the store and into our garden. Leaving me alone behind the counter.

“Hey!” I called out as the door shut between us. “You can ask me questions too you know.”

A muffled voice, snickered, as I heard: “Yea, they can ask you but if they want proper answers they will ask one of the girls.”

Oh man that hurt. I was beginning to thank that I was in the store only for my charming personality.

And then I heard another voice: “What can I do to help my soil retain moisture?”

“Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me?” I was vindicated someone needed MY advice. “Well…” I started to answer when another voice coming from some one standing behind the middle shelving interrupted me.

“I prepare the soil with lots of compost. As a matter of fact I spend more money on compost then I do on plants. The compost will help feed the soil for a long time, and as it gets wet it makes a tea that leaches deeper into the soil than I can reach with an aerator or a turning fork. It seems that the worms love this tea. Once you have worms in the soil you can find many of them in areas with plenty of compost.” I wanted to interject, to get in on the conversation, but this motor mouth would not give me a chance. When I thought that he was finished I soon realized he just needed air, a quick gulp and off again. “I did a test in a virgin area of my lawn.” Motor mouth bragged. “ I added 3 inches of compost to a soon to be new bed. I watered half of the area and let the other half stay dry. A few days later I went back….” GASP for air, and off again. “The area that was wet already had worms, not many and not large worms like in the rest of my landscaped beds, but still there were some…” GASP “The area that I left dry did not have any worms yet, so I wet it and came back a few days later and just like magic. WORMS! Not many but they were there.”

“That is pretty good, but how does that helps retain water?” asked the inquisitive newbe who was getting information from a KNOWLEDGABLE Rohde’s gardener.

GASP. On your marks, get set, go: “Well, soil tends to compact as it becomes void of organic matter. The larger the particle, the more air space you will have in your soils. Air space means room for water. Air space means that water can penetrate surface soils easier and not be exposed to as much heat and dryin winds.” GASP. “Meaning less evaporation.”

“What about the lawn? How do you get air into soil below the lawn without damaging the grass?”

Another customer who had just walked in overheard the question and, yep he started to answer the question before I could. I decided to sit down and sulk. “I use Green Sense Lawn & Garden Microbial Solution. It’s a bottle full of live microbes that will help digest the carbon matter in the soil including, grass thatch, dead roots of plants and dead bodies of insects. As they eat these carbon particles they make tunnels that allow air and water to travel below ground. As the digested particles come out of the microbe the plants roots absorb them as a nutrient, meaning that the microbes manufacture more fertilizer.”

“It does not seem that a tunnel that was the width of a microbe would allow very much air or moisture to penetrate the soil?”

“The soil expert continued: “It is not just one tunnel but millions of tunnels that make the difference. As the tunnels intersect the soil finds room to crumble in to smaller particles. Think of a cookie that you want to share with some one. You grab both sides to split it and when it breaks you have crumbs falling from the edges. That is sort of, kind of what microbes eventually accomplish.”

“Is this guy crazy?” I thought to myself. “Share a cookie? Maybe he is talking about a stale cookie?”

Silence.

I had my chance: “You can also aerate the lawn with a core aerator.” I quickly interjected wanting to participate in the conversation.

“What is that?” asked the interrogator.

“A core aerator…” I started to say but was quickly interrupted by the soil expert. “…is a machine that plunges several hollow spikes into the ground. These spikes fill up with soil. As it penetrates the soil it pushes a core out of the opposite end. Once you have aerated your lawn you would think that a herd of deer came by and used your lawn for a bathroom.”

“What do you do with the cores?” again the interrogator asked. Now I believed that she had a thousand questions. Not that it bothered me since I did not have to answer any of them.

The turf expert answered: “You can leave them on the lawn and let them break down, or you can rake them up and place them in a low spot, or in your compost pile.”

I must admit I was pretty pleased with this guys answers. He surely seemed to give the correct answers and explained them in a way that any one could understand.

The interrogator was silent. Maybe now she was going to purchase something. And then another question: “Is there anything that I can put on the lawn once it has been aerated. Something that will help keep the holes open a little longer?”

“Yes, you can add compost or minerals. Let see compost can be applied in the form of manure, but a good manure not that cra…, excuse me. Not that crap you find in the box stores. Rohde’s has a fairly new product that is made by Back To Nature. I think it is called Natures Good?”

“NATURES BLEND!” I grumbled but still pleased with this guy’s knowledge. I thought to myself: “Is he trying to take my job? If he does what will I do with my life? I love this place, please do not take my job away!” and then I realized I kind of have job security here. I still own the joint.

“That’s right Natures Blend. I put some out two weeks ago. Greg told me about the product and let me use a specialized applicator that distributes the product evenly.”

“Who’s Greg?”

“I am! That’s me! You can ask me a question if you want to!”

She did not want to. She looked at me with crossed eyes; I had the audacity to interrupt.

“Any way,” the soil expert continued, A few weeks ago Greg showed me an email that he had just received from a customer just minutes before I arrived. The sender had used Natures Blend a few weeks before I came in and said that the lawn turned green within two days. He also stated that he had not watered his lawn as frequently as he used to.”

“THAT IS NOT ALL!” I shouted a little too loudly, but definitely getting their attention. “The guy that sent the email also came in to tell me something amazing. He used a moisture meter two days after he watered the lawn. He place the meter in one of the pockets created by the extraction of a core from the aeration process that my crew performed before he applied the Natures Blend.” I was trying to use big words to make myself sound as intelligent as the soil expert who had dominated the conversation for the last…, what was it five hours, or did it just seem to be that long ago.

“The moisture meter goes from one to four. One being dry, four being wet. He tested ten pockets, eight still registered four, two of the pockets registered two. He then pushed the tip of the meter into the soil between the core pockets and found that the meter registered 3 and one.” He repeated the process the next day with the same results except that the needle inside the meter was more to the left of the numbers meaning that the soil was drying out but not quick enough to have to water immediately. He said that for the first time in the five years that he had been at that house he had not watered except once in six days.”

“WOW!” both exclaimed in unison. The interrogator finally addressed me. ME!

“Do you do aerations?”

I wanted to ask her if she really was listening to me, or did she think that the soil expert was also a ventriloquist, but I refrained, after all I am in the store because of MY charming personality. “Yes, we do. We offer all the landscape services that you need including aeration and compost application.”

“How much do you charge?” she asked surprising me with question number 101(?).

Aeration runs $85.00 for a property no larger then 10,000 square feet. Natures Blend covers about 50 square feet per bag at $3.99 each and labor is by the hour for application.”

“When can you come out and do this work for me?”

I could not believe that she was actually asking direct questions to me now. I was happy, no longer feeling like a third wheel. “We can come out next week we are actually caught up, since we purchased another aerator.”

“Can you sign me up?” she asked. And then turning to the soil expert: “Where did you learn all of this, are you in the business?”

“No, I am not I have been coming to Rohde’s for seventeen years now, way before they were organic. When Greg became interested in Organics I started learning from him. Greg is so smart, a leader in the industry, a source of information. One of the largest pillars in the organic community.”

I did not want to be rude and interrupt; after all I try to be a polite person.

“I learned everything I know from Greg Rohde. And since I have been coming here I no longer worry about insects, droughts or lawn diseases.”

Another customer came in shortly after the interrogator left wanting to know where the roses were. Since no one else was in the store and Sally and Kathy were busy helping other customers I decided to leave my post behind the counter and take her outside.

I reached over to grab my hat and placed it on my head. “That is weird”. I looked at the hat, yes it was mine. I tried it again, but it would not fit around my head. “Did my head grow?”