Water or Coke

For the longest time I have been drinking up to eight Dr. Peppers a day. Carol Feldman knew that I had tried to cut down, if not quit, for over a year now without success. She thought that the following article may help convince me to stop altogether: Just for grins I did put a nail in a bottle of DP to see what results I got. This is really interesting, and may deter some of us Coke drinkers out there!!

Get drinking! Water or Coke? We all know that water is important, but I've never seen it written down like this before.

Water

1. 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated (likely applies to half the world population).
2. In 37% of Americans,the thirst mechanism is so weak that it’s often mistaken as hunger.
3. Even MILD dehydration will slow down one's metabolism as much as 3%.
4. One glass of water will shut down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a U-Washington study.
5. Lack of water is the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.
6. Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers.
A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or on a printed page.
7. Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%, and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer.

Are you drinking the amount of water you should every day?

Coke

1. In many states ( USA) the highway patrol carries two gallons of Coke to remove blood from the highway after a car accident.
2. You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of coke and it will be gone in two days.
3. To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet bowl and let the "real thing" sit for one hour, then flush clean. Citric acid in Coke removes stains from vitreous china.
4. To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers: Rub the bumper with a rumpled-up piece of aluminum foil dipped in Coca-Cola.
5. To clean corrosion from car battery terminals: Pour a can of Coca-Cola over the terminals to bubble away the corrosion (I have tried this, and it does work!!).
6. To loosen a rusted bolt: Apply a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola to the bolt for several minutes.
7. To remove grease from clothes: Empty a can of coke into a load of greasy clothes, add detergent, and run through a regular cycle. The Coke will help loosen grease stains. It will also clean road haze from your windshield.

For Your Information

1. The active ingredient in Coke is phosphoric acid. Its pH is 2.8. It will dissolve a nail in about four days. Phosphoric acid also leaches calcium from bones and is a major contributor to the rising increase in osteoporosis.
2. To carry Coca-Cola syrup (the concentrate) the commercial truck must use the Hazardous material place cards reserved for highly corrosive materials.
3. Coke distributors have been using it to clean truck engines for about 20 years!

Now the question is, would you like a glass of water, or a Coke?

Things to Do in April

This is the year that many cities are going to start imposing fines on improperly watered lawns and gardens. Reasons for fines will seem ridiculous to those who receive one, but as fear drives us to maintain our irrigation system in proper working condition, we will see a decrease in our water bills, healthier and happier plants and we will become accustomed to proper watering techniques. So, this month we are going to start out with:

The Sprinkler System

My irrigation system at home has 10 stations. Some heads are pop ups, some are shrub heads are ‘risers’ nozzles mounted atop a stationary pipe above the level of surrounding foliage. At our farm I have a drip irrigation system that utilizes emitters that dispense water in gph or gallons per hour, rather than the gpm’s; gallons per minute that spray heads dispense.

Inspect the system. Every March I have my wife stand by the control box in our garage and I ask her to advance the system after a visual inspection of each station. We have a pair of walkie talkies that help us with this, but cell phones work just as well. As each station or zone operates, I put a flag next to any head that is not working properly.

Faulty head operation can be a result of several factors, the most common being improper head alignment or reduced pressure as a result of system leaks.

Heads near sidewalks, curbs, fences, patios or pool deck normally utilize a nozzle that sprays a partial, rather than a full circle pattern so that the traffic areas remain relatively dry and to conserve water. For a number of reasons, these heads may rotate away from their proper alignment and spray unwanted surfaces. In most case, the solution is as simple as turning the head back to its correct position.

The top of the pop-up heads should always be level with the surrounding grade. However, damp soil or soil erosion as a result of improper alignment or leaks may result in the head being too high or too low, resulting in distorted spray patterns. This is easily corrected by digging out a small area around the head, holding the head at the proper level and filling the area around the head with new soil. Secure the position by tamping the soil in solidly all around the sprinkler head body and water thoroughly.

Grass or other vegetation can grow to near the head and block the proper spray of water.

If in the lawn you may just trim the grass away but in beds a riser extension (male threaded nipple) may have to be used to raise the nozzle above the surrounding foliage.

It’s a well known fact that fire ants love low level electrical fields. Be careful when opening valve boxes and controllers, especially if they have remained closed for a long period of time.

Occasionally fire ants will build a nest around the solenoid valves that operate each zone. Their activity can sometimes cause a short, interrupting the electricity and therefore the proper operation of that station. This happened at my house and I had to hire Dan Fischer from Sprinkler Repair Specialist to use a locator and find the underground valve.

You can contact Dan at 972-562-0906, or contact your local irrigation contactor.

At our farm we planted 5000 crape myrtles and use a drip irrigation system with emitters. After about 3 months we noticed that some of the trees had not leafed out and some of the trees were turning yellow and had droopy leaves. I pulled an emitter out from around the root ball of a tree and within seconds had 5 or 6 fire ants crawling on my hands. Upon further inspection we found that almost every tree that had died or was dying had fire ants inside whose nest had blocked the flow of water. From that day on, we inspect each emitter once a month.

Sprinkler heads occasionally suffer damage from an outside source. The best fix is to replace the entire unit. If possible, remove the entire head and nipple that connects it to the pipe fitting. Cover the fitting hole with a piece of duct tape to prevent any foreign particles from falling into the piping. Then take the whole unit to the store where you will buy the replacement parts. Buy a replacement part that matches the gpm’s or gph’s, radius and pattern. If you can buy the same brand and model number, fine. If not, any brand will do as long as it’s the same type of head and nozzle.

If you need to raise the height of a shrub riser, you can simply buy a new threaded nipple of the correct height or buy a threaded coupling that will allow you to add another nipple to the existing riser. Be careful if you decide to add a head anywhere in a system. Many irrigation designers make the mistake of attempting to utilize all the available flow in a zone. Adding a head may reduce the efficiency of the zone and seriously deteriorate the coverage of the system.You can find out how much flow a zone has by turning on the zone and adding up the gpm’s written on each nozzle. Then place a 2 gallon bucket under the hose outlet nearest the point where your sprinkler system connects to your water line. Turn on the hose valve full blast and time how long it takes to fill the bucket. Do the math to find out how many gallons per minute are flowing from the hose bibb and you have the zone or station capacity. Do not exceed this capacity.

While you may think that replacing high gpm nozzles with low gpm nozzles will make more water available to the zone, think again. Properly designed irrigation systems deliver a pre-determined amount of water over an area. ‘Tweaking the system’ can have tragic results: dry spots, etc.

After you have done the repairs, place several empty cans in the area of each station and see how many minutes it takes to get 1 inch of water into each can. This will also show you if you have even distribution. If one can does not have as much water as the rest or one can has more water then the others you may have one head that may be designed to put out more or less water then the others. Find out what the capacity of flow is for the majority of the heads and replace that one accordingly.

When you know how long it takes for a can to receive one inch of water, next try to find out how long it takes for the water to start flowing unto concrete. At my house because of the slope in my front yard, water will start to run onto the sidewalk after 10 minutes.

(It used to be 8 minutes, but now that I have been using Green Sense Lawn & Garden Microbial Treatment my soil is more porous and water percolates faster.)

Adjust your timer to as many cycles as needed so that during the coarse of the day the entire lawn gets one inch of water a week.

If some of your heads appear to be putting out less water than others, first check to see that the nozzles have the same gpm rating as the others in the same zone. If it does, check the nozzle. It may be clogged. All it takes is a blade of grass to clog a nozzle. You can clean the nozzle by removing it from the sprinkler head and either blowing it out or by using a toothpick to clean it out. If clogging is a continuing problem, unscrew all the nozzles in the zone and flush the entire zone by turning it on.

Water in the early morning hours. There is less wind, the sun is not causing heat to evaporate the water and chances of fungal problems diminish.

I try to water my landscape once every ten days, however some plants require more moisture than others and do get some extra watering. I will use a watering can or a hose depending on the size of the area. I rarely use the sprinkler system to water just one area.

Of course it helps to have plants that have same water requirements planted together.

Do visual inspections regularly. If I see a plant that is wilted and it is in direct sunlight at 6:00 p.m. I will make a mental note to inspect again in the morning. If it is not wilted in the morning, I will not water it, but I will keep checking between normal watering schedules and give it more water if necessary.

During my visual inspections I will look for soggy spots or dry spots in the lawn or in a landscape area. Soggy spots could mean a leak under the surface somewhere nearby. I have a pointed pvc pipe that I use to poke into the soil. When the pipe goes into the soil easily I move it around and try to hear the tell-tale sound of waterlogged soil.

I even place my nose near the top side of the pipe and smell through it. If it smells really bad then I know the leak has been there for quite some time.

Once I find the leak, I may notice that it is something easy like a broken pipe. Occasionally it may be a valve that is not receiving the proper voltage or current.

I do have a leaky hose around the foundation of my house to keep the foundation stable. I run it every 5 days independently of my irrigation system.

The Lawn

I encourage the application of Green Sense Lawn & Garden Microbial Treatment. Microbes help loosen the compacted soils and improve moisture percolation.

If you feel the need to aerate the soil, wait until June or July after the spring rains have subsided. Meanwhile, the microbes will naturally aerate the lawn and when it comes time to aerate the machine will penetrate deeper and the core will crumble apart quicker.

Improved soil percolation can also minimize fungal problems since water penetrates the surface quicker. One customer swears the only product he uses on his lawn, other than Green Sense Fertilizer, is the Green Sense Lawn & Garden Microbial Treatment. After monthly applications, and changing his watering habits, brown patch disappeared.

For those of you who are just starting an organic program, microbes will help breakdown chemical residual left over from years of chemical applications.

Organic Fertilizers: Unlike synthetic fertilizers that contain clay as filler, Green Sense contains minerals, nutrient rich manures and other plant food ingredients. Molasses, which is used as a binder, helps encourage microbial activity. Theses microbes digest the Green Sense into smaller particles making it more accessible to the plants’ roots.

Apply at a rate of 20 lbs per thousand square feet. If your lawn has a total of 2000 square feet, apply 1 40 pound bag of fertilizer . For a 3000 sq. ft. lawn, use one and a half bags.

Fertilize your lawn now if you have not done so in the last three months and stay on a schedule of one application of a natural fertilizer per quarter.

How do you know how many square feet of soil do you have?

It is easy, all you need to do is to measure the width and length of an area and multiply does two figures. That will give you the square feet of that section. Do this to the entire area and write down the square footage for each section. Now you can determine how many pounds of fertilizer or soil additive you will need for each section.

Soil Additives: Any organic product you put into the soil will be an added benefit to the microbes and the plants that are in that soil. Is it needed?

There are two ways to find out if the soil is in need of extra attention.

1. A soil test. If you do this you will get a complete analysis of your soil sample. That does not mean the entire lawn, only the area from where you take the samples. If you decide to get a soil sample we recommend TEXAS PLANT & SOIL LAB, Inc. 5115 W. Monte Cristo Rd. Edinburg, TX 78539-8852 956-383-0739
2. Visual inspection. By walking around the lawn and looking at plants that are of same variety, you should start to notice similarities or dissimilarities between them. Discoloration of foliage, smaller deformed leaves, stunted growth of the plant; lack of flower or fruit production will serve as indicators that something is wrong. Get on the Internet and look for plant diagnostics or bring samples of the plants to a nursery for possible diagnostic. Remember that if you find a diagnostic that recommends chemical treatment. Don’t!. There are organic alternatives. Contact us.

Weeds: Loose, rich soils will help decrease a weed problem. Later on, aeration will help a lot, by loosening the soil and improving percolation. I have noticed more weeds in compacted and poorly drained lawns.

To kill weeds use 20% Vinegar on a warm day. Vinegar works as a contact killer. Add citrus oil or liquid soap to help the vinegar stick to the plant that you’re trying to kill.

Be patient!! By applying organic fertilizers, you will see a steady decline of your weed population and an increase in the health of the turf.

A lot of the weeds that are visible now are winter weeds like henbit and rye grass. If these weeds do offend your neighbor keep them mowed down to prevent weed seeds.

Winter weeds will die off as soon as temperatures rise.

Fleas and Ticks

We have already had calls about fleas and ticks. Easy control can be achieved by applying D-limonene, the most commonly used citrus derivative.

Green Sense Citrus Oil is highly concentrated. As a matter of fact, Green Sense Citrus Oil is so pure it cannot be packaged in a plastic bottle like other citrus oil products, because it will melt through plastic.

A perfect reason for using citrus oil products for control of fleas and ticks is that it is much safer than conventional insecticides. In a diluted form, it can be applied directly on kittens and puppies and is safe to use in homes or on lawns with small children. Easy to apply through a pump sprayer or a hose end sprayer apply over the entire lawn at a rate of 2 ounces per gallon of water. To maximize benefit to foliage, use in conjunction with Green Sense Foliar Juice or Aunt Rohde’s Compost Tea.

If you walk your dog and he comes back with fleas, comb him with a flea comb dipped in a citrus oil shampoo before entering the house. Make sure that you at least comb the neck and butt area but total grooming would give better results.

We have one customer that sprays the dog before each foray out of the house with a mild citrus oil solution and says that her dog has remained flea free.

I am asking you to use citrus oil sprays, and not to use sprays that may contain products such as a “disruptor”*** that may increase the chance of toxicosis, a condition resulting from poisoning.

I do not like products that require you to place drops of a chemical insecticide on the body of a pet. It does not make sense to apply an insecticide that will kill a bug that bites it. What long term study has been able to prove that an animal treated with a chemical placed directly on the skin will not become seriously ill?

***Common pesticides containing fipronil, a phenylpyrazole insecticide, are Frontline®, Frontline® Topspot™, Combat®, and MaxForce® (NPTN 1997). Concerns about human exposure to Frontline spray treatment were raised in 1996, leading to a denial of registration for the spray product (PAN 2000). Mode of Action: Fipronil is a disruptor of the insect central nervous system via the GABA channel, acting with contact and stomach action. It blocks the GABA-gated chloride channels of neurons in the central nervous system, resulting in neural excitation and death of the insect (NPTN 1997). It is used against cockroaches, ants, fleas, ticks, and mites (PAN 2000). I know that this seems a little over the top, but if the dog gets near areas infested with squirrels or comes in contact with other pets that may have fleas, bathe your dog with a mild herbal shampoo that contains citrus products such as Natural Animal Dog Shampoo & Dip.

Always use Beneficial Nematodes as a comprehensive control for Fleas and Ticks.

Fire Ants

After each heavy rain you will notice some fire ant mounds pop up out of the ground. In the spring mounds will pop up real quick because of the heavy rains flooding the interior of the mound. This is a good time to drench the mound with a product that contains citrus oil such as Green Sense Soil Drench.

Apply Beneficial Nematodes to help control the larvae stages of ants.

Use baits, such as Ascend. This product does not contain fenoxycarb, proven carcinogens.

Shade

Many of you have areas where the shade is so thick that grass will not grow.

I know that you may be tempted to lift the lower branches of the trees that are creating the shade, but this will only create short tem benefits.

If you want a lawn, use Fescue. This is not the best time to sow Fescue, but if you put it out now, you will have more then 80% success rate of seed germination and proper growth through September. After this year make it a habit to reseed every September, and your lawn will be beautiful.

Sod can be put out now and should benefit from the rains and cooler temperatures that help it root quickly. If we do not get rain, then water periodically. I like to water when I do not feel moisture come through the socks on my feet. Yes, you must take your shoes off in order to perform this test! Just walk on the grass in your socks and you will quickly feel moisture. If not,-- then you should water.Remember that the lawn does not always have to remain a lawn. You can always convert it to a beautiful landscape area by using plants that do well in shady conditions.

Bring in photos of the area or consult with an architect. We recommend Carol Feldman.

Fungi

A common problem area we see on a day-to-day basis are fungal problems.

Most of these problems are on the lawn and are usually caused by improper watering or poor drainage. Sometimes one problem is caused by the other. Poor drainage, if corrected can solve the fungal problem.

Watering in the morning rather than the afternoon can cure black spot on plants such as roses. As noted in last month’s newsletter, proper trimming and planting can also eliminate fungal problems by improving air circulation.

If you know that you have a plant that might be prone to fungal problems such as powdery mildew or black spot, prepare for it! As you plant, you might raise it a little above the surrounding grade so that it will have dry feet.

When I say raise it, I mean transplant it into higher ground by adding plenty of organic matter to the existing bed. While you are transplanting, give plenty of room for air circulation. Add some sulfur to the soil since sulfur can control fungal problems. Corn Meal should also be added to a newly prepared bed.

Spot-check these plants frequently. If a fungal problem comes up, treat it immediately.

Use Potassium Bicarbonate at a rate of 2 tablespoons per gallon of water over 400 square feet. In flowerbeds you can also use Corn Meal as a dry method of application. Apply Green Sense Corn Meal at a rate of 20 lbs per thousand square feet for best results.

Remember once you start treating the lawn for fungal problems you must continue to do so until the symptoms disappear.

Potassium Bicarbonate and Green Sense Corn Meal can also be used to correct Fungi in grass. For long term results, correct the cause of the problem. What is making the water stay in this area of the lawn? Is it a low spot or something blocking the waters path?

One customer who had brown patch last year did an experiment with the Microbial Treatment. After doing some minor drainage corrections, he figured that if brown patch was caused by water standing over an area for a long period, maybe the microbes that were supposed to improve percolation would help cure the brown patch.

He applied the Microbial Treatment every other week and after 3 months came in to tell me that he no longer saw any signs of the disease.

Maybe try it on your yard and see what results you get.

I have used Actinovate for fungal problems for some time now, with great results. You may try Actinovate, which is a powder, and goes out dry at a rate of 1 lb per 1000 square feet. Customers tell me they have mixed Actinovate with Corn Meal with great results.

We have a large selection of perennials and highly recommend their use over annual flowers. Perennials become more important now that water restrictions are becoming common. Perennials have established roots and do not need a constant watering routine and for the most part require less care than annual flowers. Always prepare the bed using copious (new word for me) amounts of compost. Use Green Sense Cotton Burr Compost.

If you still feel the need for Annual Flowers: Plant seasonal color using: ageratum, begonia, blue daze, coleus, gaillardia, gomphrena, pentas, impatiens, lobelia, Mexican heather, nicotiana, purslane, ornamental peppers, annual salvias, torenia, and zinnia.For best results fertilize your perennials and annuals regularly with Green Sense Vegetable and Flower Food. Cut off spent blooms and toss in the compost bin.

Vegetables

We have a large selection of hybrid and heirloom tomatoes, peppers, and a variety of other warm season vegetables.

Mulch

One good way to conserve moisture and prevent weeds is by applying mulch. I do not like to use are pine bark and the large deco-bark products. Pine bark mulch is lightweight and floats away. As it breaks down it leaches nitrogen from surrounding soils and plants causing more damage than benefit. Other deco-barks also float away, but the worst part about these products is they are so large they allow insects, such as roaches and roly-polies to hide under them. Several pest control operators have told me they see more termites around these two products than any of the others. They say the mulch that attracts insects least is Cedar Mulch. We now carry Cedar Mulch in bulk.

Natural Foods for Lawns

by Don Trotter

Hello fellow Earthlings and welcome to our second installment on Lawns. I think we should get right to it, so let's go out to the yard and take a good look at your turf.

Feeding your lawn with natural products and materials depends on creating a living system in the soil your lawn is growing in. Natural turf care and feeding count on materials like compost to increase biological activity in soils in order to make the natural plant foods work faster and for longer periods of time to keep your lawn lush and green. Natural lawn foods average less than half the nitrogen and many are less than a third s strong as they’re chemical counterparts. When I feed a lawn or counsel a gardener on feeding their lawn I try to inform them of the many things that natural lawn foods do for the soil and the many other significant contributions they provide for the overall vigor of the lawn ecosystem.

Turfgrass is not a natural thing. There are few places on the planet where a single kind of grass grows, totally excluding all other plants except for the residential lawn. It is the challenge of gardeners and especially natural gardener to make this unnatural gathering of plants into an efficiently functioning system of biological processes resulting in an emerald green lawn. This can be a daunting task when it comes to weed control, pest insect and disease control, and then there’s always Bubba to tell you you’re a loon for not using Soylent Green on your lawn…just like he does. Feeding a lawn with natural materials is pretty easy when you think of it. All you need is some finely screened compost, the minerals to balance your soil, and a subtle source of nitrogen.

The touchy subject of providing a lawn with large doses of nitrogen is not an issue when caring for the lawn naturally. The amounts of nitrogen applied to a lawn treated with natural materials is basically used to replenish lost nitrogen when clippings are not recycled back into the turf with mulching lawnmowing equipment.

When clippings are recycled into the lawn mechanically, nitrogen is supplemented in small amounts to assist in decomposition and provide some additional food to soil microbes so further growth of the lawn is stimulated. Low nitrogen inputs are used to keep the engine running at peak efficiency. The keys to feeding your lawn naturally are to work with the soil and then let the biology in the soil work its magic.

Materials are easy to find and are normally rather abundant. Screening compost or buying fine-screened compost is easy. Screening homemade compost is fairly easy to do by constructing a simple screen from a wooden frame and some fine mesh chicken wire. Adding the screened material to your lawn can be done with compost spreaders or you can use my method of throwing it all over the lawn in the most haphazard manner possible. I love throwing compost all over the place because it doesn’t matter where it falls. No matter where compost falls, it does good things- so I just chuck it on the lawn and let some of it fall where it may. I guess that’s one of the reasons I never have enough compost. I add compost to the lawn in the early to middle part of spring and again in midsummer. I feed the lawn with chicken manure on the same day so I’m not doing too much work and jeopardizing my reputation as a lazy gardener. I use chicken manure. Watering thoroughly after applying these materials gets them down where they can do the most good, in the soil. Once a year I winterize the lawn by adding minerals only, this is done in the fall.

Lawns don’t have to be growing at warp speed to remain lush and bright green. Quite the opposite is true. The chemical manufacturers want you to continue to buy their products all year so they invent marketing strategies to convince you that your lawn really needs their products if you don’t want to be the laughing stock of your neighborhood. Boy, have they got it wrong. Smart turf management professionals utilize the cool and the warm season to rebuild mineral content in their soils and to feed the soil with a little bit of organic matter so that in the spring and summer they don’t have mineral deficiencies that can result in numerous disease and pest problems. The organic matter they add to the soil feeds beneficial microbes and larger organisms like earthworms. I add the organic matter earlier in the season, which helps to minimize runoff water, increase water retention so they don’t have to water so often, and improve the physical structure of their soils. One of the best things this organic matter addition can do is to stimulate the larger organisms in your soil such as earthworms to stay in the soil underneath your lawn because food is there.

Earthworms also have the added benefit of tunneling around in your soil creating deeper and improved water penetration while feeding on thatch. Thatch is the name given to the dead and decaying remains of the summer’s growth. Thatch is a good thing when a lawn is cared for naturally because the beneficial organisms inhabiting your soil actually convert this thatch into plant food that your turf can use when the weather warms up. The whole mechanical dethatching thing that begins in the fall just cracks me up. If the people that spend all that money on removing this valuable material would just feed it to their soils they would have better soils and healthier lawns.

Mineralizing your lawn should only include a mineral supplement and some organic matter as mentioned earlier. I love to apply a good calcium source such as Kelzyme fossilized kelp or a mixture of lime or gypsum, sulfur, soft rock phosphate, and sulfate of potash magnesia (sul-po-mag) at a 5-1-2-1 ratio.Apply Kelzyme or the mineral mix at a rate of 10lbs per 100 square feet of turf. Water after application.

This is a great winter meal for the good guys living in the soil beneath your lawn. By adding these ingredients to your lawn at this time of year you will be truly winterizing your lawn. The other really great thing you won’t be doing is contributing to the pollution problem that often occurs when chemical fertilizers run off of poorly maintained soils into the storm drain system resulting in contamination and accelerated bacterial growth in our oceans and fresh water supplies. Just add some minerals and some organic matter and in the spring your lawn will be way ahead of any other in your neighborhood and will remain lush and green throughout the winter. And for those of you with snow on the lawn during this time of year, Bubba can’t make fun of the color of the snow can he? This mineral material can help you to grow a weed and disease free lawn that is resistant to pests and stays bright green all year, or until the snow covers it. Eat your heart out Bubba.

Got Questions? Email the Doc. Don Trotter's natural gardening columns appear nationally in environmentally sensitive publications. Check out Don's books "The Complete Natural Gardener" and "Natural Gardening A-Z" at your local bookstore or any online bookseller for more helpful gardening tips. Both books are from Hay House Publishing.

Getting Physical

During the last few months of 2001 one of the employees at Rohde’s found a tumor had grown within. After passing a few months of uncertainty the tumor was removed successfully and now after the discomfort from the operation everything seems to be back to normal. But, the incident made me wonder about my health and what things I may have growing in me. After all, my mother died at the age of 53, my sister only 33.

Many who know me bother me because I am squeamish about the body. When ever I get mad at my son Victor and my voice starts to rise during his lecture, he will act as if he is about to take one of his contact lens out. That will usually shut me up. Any way because it is difficult for me to go to a doctor for a check up it has been 23 years since I went for a complete physical and I thought that now that I saw my coworker go through a scary situation it was time for a check up. I made an appointment with an Internal Medicine doctor at Presbyterian Hospital Plano by the name of Gary Tigges. Another doctor, a customer of mine, recommended Dr Tigges.

The day before my first appointment, which was for lab test, I was called and reminded to fast from 9:00 pm that night. I was told to drink as much water as I could especially in the morning before my appointment.

As soon as I woke up I started to drink water and before I left my house at 8:00 am I had already gone through 3 glasses of water and I took another for the road. By the time I got to the doctors office my eyes were floating.

It was a cold morning with temperatures in the low 20’s. I got to the office and I really hoped that they were on schedule because as you know I drank wayyyy to much water.

Of course, they were running behind and as I squirmed in my seat, time seemed to slow down. “Gregory Rohde!” Yahoo at last I will be able to give my sample.

“I am Gregory Rohde, I said. Where is my cup?”

“Oh, no I just need your drivers license please” she said cutely.

“What? Hey my appointment was for 8:15, it is now 8:17 and I reallllly need to give my sample”, I pleaded.

“Go sit down, we will call you when it is your turn, ” she said curtly.

I started to talk to the lady next to me and when they called her name I offered her one dollar to let me go first, she just laughed and went on her way.

“Have fun in there” I semi shouted.

A few more minutes passed and I squirmed some more. “Gregory Rohde”

Finally, it was my turn and as I ran into the examining room area I almost knocked over the lady I had been talking to earlier. “Hope it hurts”, she said with a laugh! “I like that woman”, I thought to myself as I asked the nurse for my cup.

“We need a blood sample first and then you can give your urine sample”, she replied.

“Oh noooo! I really have to go I was told to drink a lot of water and I did and the last time I gave blood I fainted and I would hate to have an accident while I was passed out on the floor,” I cried, a tear ran down my cheek and I blew my nose on my sleeve. “Please I will be a good boy if you let me peee”.

“No! Blood first. Pee later. Roll up sleeve. Grab ball, squeeze. This will only sting, we use very sharp needles. Are you sure you drank a lot of water your blood is coming out very slow? Well, you are taking so long you may end up with a bruise. . Are you sure you drank a lot of water?I really wasn’t listening. I was dreaming that I was in a bathroom and I had a 5 gallon bucket that I was to fill up. No problem!

“Okay she said now you can go give your urine sample, get up slowly and make sure you are alright before you leave the room. If you feel queasy tell me and I will help you sit down” she said in a reassuring voice.

I was feeling fine and in a hurry so I got up and went to the bathroom. I was told to write my name on the cup first and then leave my sample. I quickly wrote my name and then aimed and shot that cup right out of my hand. I tried to stop, but it was like a horse going back to the barn. I quickly grabbed another cup and barely filled it up halfway. I hoped that would do. After spending 5 minutes cleaning the bathroom I heard a knock on the door. “Mr. Rohde? Mr. Rohde, are you alright?”

I opened the door to see my nurse and a young man with a set of keys at the ready; there was a line of people whose eyes seemed to be turning yellow as they were waiting their turn to leave a sample. As I walked away I suggested that they hold the cup firmly in their hand before releasing. I got strange looks, but I thought it was funny.

“Remember your next appointment is next Tuesday,” the nurse said as I walked in to the lobby.

A week passed and on Monday the nurse called me to remind me of my Tuesday appointment. I asked her if I had to fast since I thought that I was going to get a colonoscopy. She said that after my lab work the doctor did not think it was necessary. “Yahooooo,” I hollered over the phone!

The next day I came into work and then went to my 11:00 am appointment. I was in the examine room by 11:15 and the nurse did some routine exams to check my heartbeat and blood pressure. She told me to go ahead and take my clothes off, but to leave my underwear on.

I waited for about five minutes and just when I was about to start getting dressed again, I was cold, the doctor walked in. We talked for a while and he asked me some personal questions and then listened to my lungs and heart, looked in my ears and up my nose, down my throat and up my as…k me no more questions. Now I know why they call it getting goosed. I honked just like what. Well, the good news is that my prostrate was good and he felt like I would not have to make another appointment until I was 50. Two more years! He warned me that he would definitely recommend a more thorough exam.

That night I slept like a baby. I really was relieved to find out that I was in good health. No cancer, no heart or lung problems, low cholesterol (162), a temple of health!